The world changed dramatically today..six years ago

December 1st 2005 at 9.58am Joseph Michael Kruse came into the world weighing in at 9 pound 3 ounces.

After a six and a half hour labour during which, when the midwife said push i said no, because I was still waiting for the bad bit to come.. (When the midwife said "Push next contraction sweetheart" I said "No thanks, it's okay"  She said "You need to push, your baby is ready to come out" Me "No, really not yet" Midwife "Humour me" Me "Alright... but... " and a very VERY short time later I was holding him!)

The very first hands he felt were those of his glowingly proud Daddy who delivered him, and placed him on my chest.

He was the most beautiful little thing I had ever laid my eyes on - and wonderfully annoyed at the disturbance to his previously wet and comfy world. 

It's so true that there is nothing quite as beautiful as your babies first cry.  It brings on a flood of emotions that you just cannot imagine, or prepare yourself for.

I have never felt the world to be so instantly changed as at that moment... It was suddenly both more wonderful, and more scary all at the same time.

Parenthood is both the greatest gift, the most rewarding thing I have embarked upon and also the hardest, most emotional thing I have ever attempted.

I have never been so challenged.  Never felt such elation at times, and at other times so defeated.  I have often wondered if I'm cut out for this role of motherhood.  But even when I feel I'm the worst parent in the world he still loves me...

I suppose that cuts both ways really though. Because even when he's driving me absolutely crazy and I am battling with idea's on how to combat his terrible new behaviour or he's just drawn on the wall or dug (another) hole in the middle of the lawn to play soldiers in... I love him right through it all with every fibre of my body and there is nothing I wouldn't do or sacrifice for him.

He is the greatest gift I have ever received and the biggest most wonderful part of my life.

Happy sixth birthday to the most important person in my world- My Joe xxx

Devastatingly beautiful..

Don't watch this in the office.
A box of tissues would be a grand idea.
The song in this video was written by a Dad of an angel from what I understand.. and the images of all these little people... a lifetime of memories built in but a moment together.. precious

To watch the video click here -- TLC Our Empty Arms -- if you're at work, leave it till later!


Footnote of no consequence:

It's funny, I'm on the computer at the table working on my book/blog/page/emails, Joe is watching a movie and he just came up to me to ask how a baby comes out - RANDOM!!! 
Knew this question was coming, and he's a smart kid so I explained how the process goes, from the growing in my tummy to the way my body helped him out and into my arms (we skipped conception!) 
I told him how much I loved having him in my tummy, how much I already loved him, and that he already loved me.  That the best most wonderful thing I had ever created was him, he is the most beautiful thing to have ever happened.

He easily accepted the facts of birth, and then with a hug and a pat of my tummy he said "Mum, did you love being pregnant and giving birth to the other babies? or just me?"

Aw rats, pass the tissues...