Wednesday, 27 July 2011

It's sometimes hard to get noticed

I've been madly throwing my plans around at different support groups and social networks I'm a part of and have had some beautiful feedback.  There have been several offers of stories (that will hopefully bear fruit) and lots of words of encouragement.

I have found it hard to spread the word but hope that in time, people will catch on and support this project.  I've contacted lots of different groups, some have replied, most have not even emailed me back - which is disheartening, I'm clinging to the thinking that perhaps they are simply too busy right now but will eventually get back to me.

My inbox was hit with my very first completed story a few days ago which all of a sudden made this all seem real - up until now it has been an idea that I believed in with my whole heart but wasn't sure I'd get the support required to make it work.  Without your stories, there is no book.  My greatest wish is for this to all come together and one day I will hold a book in my hands.  Helen, from the bottom of my heart I thank you!  You made me feel that the time I am putting into this, after my son is in bed and my husband is talking to me over my laptop is worth it.  This is worthwhile, it will help people and I should keep trucking along and try to get word out there.

So I shall keep on contacting people and will not be discouraged by no reply.  This will happen.  I have the belief and passion to make it so.  Now all I need is to find those beautiful people that are willing to share their trials with others.

I will find them.  It will happen.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

A project with heart, requires your story.

My name is Katrina, though everyone calls me Trine.  I am 31 years old.  I am a wife and mother.  There is nothing particularily interesting about me or my life.  I'm a daughter, a sister, and aunt.  I have no particular talents that stand me apart from others.  I work two jobs, neither of them being to do with something I'm passionate about, but they pay the bills and afford me small amounts of time with my beautiful little boy.

Why on earth has someone so ordinary bothered to start a blog you ask?  Well, that's a very good question, and please - grab a coffee to wake you up and read on.  Please, I would love you to let me know what you think of how I'm spending my spare time.

I'm compiling a book and have thus far recieved quite alot of very positive responses to my project. What is it about? Righto here we go.......

I am putting together a book specifically aimed at people who have just been told that there is something wrong with their child - either during pregnancy or afterwards. Also including those that have been told early on in their pregnancy of a significant problem, then made the difficult decision to terminate and how they dealt with that on an emotional level.

I don't want to put together a medical journal - that would be missing the whole point. It is not to be focused on EXACTLY what the problem is/was in depth. What I want are a compilation of stories from the perspective of mums/dads/uncles/aunts/grandparents/siblings etc that deal with the emotional rollercoaster. I want raw, honest emotion. What I really want is to be able to produce a book for those people who are feeling incredibly angry/confused/lost/helpless but also the positive people who have taken the news in their stride and gone - OK, what do we do from here. I want mums and dads to be able to find a story they can identify with and hopefully - that lets them know how they are dealing with this hurdle is normal (even if they are laying in bed crying) and someone else has been there and gotten through it. I want relatives or friends to be able to pick up this book and understand where their loved on is right now and exactly what they may be experiencing. Because as you know, until you've walked a mile in someone’s shoes...

I want to hear exactly how people felt at THAT moment when you heard the news or felt themselves that something wasn't right (were you in denial, did you jump into action?) and then afterwards. How other people reacted, friends or family or just the lady on the street.

I was wondering if any of you would be interested in writing a piece for the book? There is no pressure or hurry - right now I'm not even past the touching base with people stage, though I have a number of people already writing a draft for me to work on :) I don't expect a whole books worth, this is to be a bunch of short stories not long journeys through your lives. You don't have to have your name attached (maybe just your first name or anon) I don't want anything prettied up - I've heard one lady say that sadly, for a few weeks towards the end of her pregnancy she hated her baby and blamed it for ruining her life (this didn't last thankfully) I'm sure she isn't the only one that has felt such pain and so alone.

Feel free to forward my details to anyone you think may be interested in participating in this they don't need to be a super writer - everything will be edited and chopped and fixed up later anyway and the end product will go back to the owner of the piece it for their approval. My email is

I have already received some very positive feedback and I really want to get this off the ground. I've heard several people talk about how dark and alone they felt being surrounded by people who didn't really grasp the way it impacts your soul finding out that your baby is, although absolutely perfect to you, going to face such hurdles in their lives. As a parent, there are so many emotional responses involved in being given any less than perfect outcome for the little being that you want to see grow up, marry, have children, be independant, travel, have a career etc. We start out, upon finding out we're pregnant with so many hopes and dreams for this little person growing in our bellies.
I hope that we can make just a handful of people, feel a little less alone and give them the truth as to how a "normal" person has coped already with this verdict (or not coped either way..)

Please as I said forward my details to anyone you think might also want to tell their story bearing in mind it needn't be a deeply impacting problem - it could be something as simple as hearing difficulties, or resulted in losing your angel.

It's all about hearing a Doctor say something you wish they'd take back and how this changed your world forever.

Thankyou for reading this. I've also contacted many (many) different medical centers and support systems to try to tease stories out of people. If you know someone who may be interested in being involved - or you think their story should be told, please let me know.

Thankyou all so, so much. I understand this is a sensitive subject, and alot of people wouldn't like to discuss it. But sometimes I've found it's the stories that aren't told that are the ones that could help someone else to cope a little better. Pre my little guy arriving, with the losses I suffered I had never felt so incredibly alone, and so wrong to be so wishing I had died too. I felt that according to the world I should have just picked myself up out of the hospital bed and gone "meh... well, maybe next time" dusted my hands off and gotten on with life like it'd never happened.

If even one of you forwards this, or shares your story I thank you so greatly in advance!

Trine xxxx